Stop Running Your Business Like a Clusterfuck
You're a coach or consultant who's brilliant at what you do. Maybe even the best in your space.
But your backend? It's a fucking disaster.
You're drowning in tech you don't understand. Your marketing is inconsistent as hell. Your operations are held together with duct tape and desperation. And you're spending your genius-level time doing shit that literally anyone else could handle.
That ends now.
Brain Grenade Agency is the full-service fulfillment partner for coaches and consultants who are done playing small and ready to build something that actually scales.
We don't do cookie-cutter packages. We don't hand you a template and wish you luck. We become your operational backbone—the team that turns your vision into reality while you focus on what you're actually meant to be doing: coaching, creating, and closing deals.
Here's How We Build Your Empire
Every Brain Grenade partnership starts with a strategy session with Suzanne Dwyer—The Brain Unfucker herself. No generic solutions. No one-size-fits-all bullshit. We architect a custom fulfillment package designed specifically for where your business is and where it's going.
Then we execute. Everything.
Strategy: Stop Building on Quicksand
Here's the truth: you can't scale chaos. You can't dominate your market by throwing shit at the wall and hoping it sticks. And you sure as hell can't build an empire without a bulletproof plan.
Most coaches skip this part. They jump straight into tactics—posting more, selling harder, hustling louder—without any real strategy behind it. Then they wonder why nothing works.
Strategy isn't just planning. It's the foundation that makes everything else possible. It's what separates businesses that grow from businesses that grind.
We dig into your market, figure out where you actually stand against your competition, and build the framework that turns your big ideas into executable reality. No fluff. No generic advice. Just a clear path forward that actually makes sense.
What We Handle In Strategy:
Operations strategy that won't break when you scale
Marketing strategy that gets you seen by the right people
Sales strategy that converts without the sleaze
PR strategy that makes you the authority everyone listens to
Operations: The Part Where Shit Actually Gets Done
You know what kills most businesses? It's not bad ideas. It's bad execution.
Your operations are the engine that makes everything run. And if that engine is sputtering, held together with Band-Aids and good intentions, you're never going to get where you want to go.
We build systems that work without you babysitting them. Processes that scale. Workflows that turn the complex shit into competitive advantage instead of daily headaches.
Because here's the deal: when your operations are tight, growth becomes predictable. Revenue becomes scalable. And you stop feeling like you're constantly putting out fires.
What We Handle In Operations:
Virtual assistants who actually get shit done
OBMs who manage your business so you don't have to
Project management that keeps things moving forward
Event planning that doesn't make you want to scream
Fractional COO services when you need strategic leadership
Custom automations that save you hours every damn day
Customized technology services including custom software builds and app development
Processes that don't fall apart the second you step away
Marketing: How You Stop Being the Best-Kept Secret
You could be the most talented coach in your industry. You could have the transformation everyone needs. But if nobody knows you exist? None of that matters.
Marketing isn't about going viral or posting more content. It's about getting in front of the right people with the right message and making it impossible for them to ignore you.
We don't scatter your efforts hoping something lands. We build strategic campaigns that position you as the obvious choice, create demand for what you offer, and turn your marketing into your most powerful growth engine.
What We Handle In Marketing:
Social media strategy that cuts through the noise
Content creation and management across all platforms
Video editing that makes you look like the pro you are
Copywriting that actually converts (for everything—social, email, texts, funnels, websites)
Sales funnel buildout that moves people from "who's this?" to "take my money"
Website design that represents your brand properly
Branding and graphic design that doesn't look like Canva threw up
Sales: Where Talk Becomes Money
All the strategy, operations, and marketing in the world means nothing if you can't close deals.
Sales is where your business gets funded. It's where conversations turn into cash flow. And if your sales process is weak, inconsistent, or non-existent? You're leaving money on the table every single day.
We don't do pushy bullshit or desperate tactics. We build systematic revenue generation—proven processes, strategic relationship building, and conversion optimization that makes every interaction count.
Your sales should be predictable. Repeatable. And reliable as hell.
What We Handle In Sales:
Lead generation that fills your pipeline with qualified prospects
Sales strategy that fits your style and actually works
Funnel creation and optimization
Conversion copywriting that closes deals
Email and text automation that nurtures leads while you sleep
CRM setup and management so nothing falls through the cracks
PR & Events: Building Your Authority Platform
You can have the best business in the world, but if nobody sees you as THE authority in your space, you're fighting an uphill battle.
PR and events aren't about vanity metrics or random media mentions. They're about strategically positioning yourself as the voice everyone wants to hear from.
We get you on the stages that matter. On the podcasts your ideal clients are listening to. At the events where deals get done and relationships get built. We turn your expertise into influence and your voice into a competitive advantage.
What We Handle:
PR strategy and campaign execution
Event planning and management that doesn't fall apart
Thought leadership positioning
Strategic partnerships that actually benefit your business
Content that establishes you as the go-to expert
Brain Grenade CRM: One System. Not Twenty.
You know what's exhausting? Juggling seventeen different platforms just to run your business.
Scheduling tool. Email platform. Contract system. Website builder. Payment processor. Calendar app. Course platform. The list goes on.
And every single one of them costs money, has its own login, and doesn't talk to the others.
Brain Grenade CRM fixes that nightmare.
One platform built specifically for coaches and consultants. Everything you need in one place: automated scheduling, client management, email and text sequences, event management, contracts, payment processing, website and funnel builders, offer templates—all of it integrated and working together.
Stop managing your tech stack and start growing your business. With Brain Grenade CRM, your operations run in the background while you focus on what you're actually good at.
One platform. Complete control. No more tech chaos.
How This Actually Works
Step 1: Strategy Session with Suzanne
We start with a no-bullshit strategy session where Suzanne digs into your business, figures out what's actually broken, and maps out what needs to happen next. No generic templates. Just real talk about where you are and where you need to go.
Step 2: Custom Package Built for You
Based on that session, we build a custom fulfillment package. You get exactly what your business needs—not a pre-made bundle that sort of fits. We design it specifically for your situation.
Step 3: We Execute Everything
Then we do the actual work. Strategy implementation. System buildout. Content creation. Operations management. Whatever your package includes, we handle it completely.
You focus on your genius zone. We handle literally everything else.
Ready to Stop Doing Everything Yourself?
This isn't for everyone.
We don't work with coaches who want to "explore options" or "try things out." We work with empire builders who are done fucking around and ready to dominate their market.
If you're serious about scaling, if you're ready to stop being stuck in the weeds, if you want a team that can actually execute at the level your ambitions demand—let's talk.
Book your strategy session with Suzanne Dwyer and let's build something that actually matters.
Services Offered
Strategic Services
Business strategy development and consulting
Market research and competitive analysis
Brand positioning and messaging strategy
Go-to-market planning
Customer journey mapping and experience design
Operations strategy and optimization
PR strategy development and planning
New Business Purchase & Exit Strategy
Marketing Services
Digital marketing (SEO, SEM, PPC campaigns)
Content marketing and creation
Social media strategy, management, and content creation
Email marketing and automation
Website design and development
Marketing analytics and performance tracking
Branding packages (complete brand identity development)
Graphic design services
Video editing and production
Influencer marketing and partnerships
Funnel Building and refresh
Sales Services
Sales strategy and process optimization
Sales funnels and automation setup
Lead generation and qualification
Customized CRM system implementation (tailored for coaches and consultants)
CRM management and optimization
Sales training and enablement
Account-based marketing (ABM)
Conversion optimization
Proposal and Proposal funnel building
Public Relations
Media relations and press release distribution
Crisis communication management
Reputation management
Event planning and management
Influencer and partnership outreach
Thought leadership development
Corporate communications
Operations Services
Business process optimization
SOP (Standard Operating Procedures) setup and documentation
Project management
Marketing operations and technology stack management
Workflow automation
Performance metrics and KPI tracking
Resource planning and allocation
Vendor management
Tech support services
Team Development Services
Team building and leadership development
Team training programs
Team creation and hiring support
Organizational structure consulting
Team building and leadership workshops
Team building and leadership retreats
Technology Services
Tech support services
Email address setup and management
Cybersecurity implementation and monitoring
Custom app development
Custom software development
Domain connection and management
API integrations
Technology stack consulting and setup
Publishing Services (Brain Grenade Press)
Full publishing services for life-changing books only
Writing coaching and development
Professional editing services
Book indexing
Custom graphic design for book covers and interiors
Publishing guidance and support
End-to-end publishing through Brain Grenade Press
Implementation Services
Full implementation of all marketing strategies
Full implementation of all sales strategies
Full implementation of all operations strategies
Full implementation of all PR strategies
End-to-end execution and ongoing support
The Bottom Line
You didn't become a coach to spend your days wrestling with tech, scheduling posts, or managing projects.
You became a coach to transform lives. To make an impact. To build something significant.
Brain Grenade Agency handles everything else so you can do exactly that.
Stop playing small. Stop doing everything yourself. Stop settling for mediocre results because your backend can't keep up with your vision.
Let's build your empire. The right way. Starting now.
